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thursday | march 25 | 2004
The evidence agrees with me!
I've repeatedly discussed my conspiracy theory about the fattening of America by the federal government via corn subsidies/high fructose corn sweeteners, and it turns out that some scientists agree with me, at least on the part about the corn syrup. Some detractors have tried to discredit the study, but they are obviously just spies or puppets of the corn syrup companies. I'm sure the connection to the government will soon be revealed and hopefully will become a full-blown scandal. Maybe it can be the newest election year issue since landing on Mars and keeping gays from getting married!
Today is definitely a good day for news. Richard Simmons was charged for slapping some guy in an airport after the man made a snide comment about his workout videos. I guess Richard had finally had enough.
[posted by Frank]
