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monday | january 23 | 2006
Ryan Danz: Shameless publicity whore
"Recent Law Graduate" Ryan Danz almost made it to the final three on The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, but it is still uncertain as to why he applied to be on the show. In an interview at Queerty, Ryan had the following to say of the opportunity to work for Martha Stewart: "I didn’t see this as working at MSLO, I saw this as working next to one of the most powerful business PEOPLE in the world. Learning and sponging as much information as I could. I was motivated just based on the simple fact that never again in my lifetime will I have an opportunity to study and learn at the proverbial feet of the master."
The master of what? Perhaps Ryan thought Martha, a former model herself, might have some pointers for him, since he is not only "recent law graduate" but also "stock photograph model" (evidence below, detail above). I was walking down Queen St. E here in Toronto, and was startled to see Ryan's smiling mug on a billboard advertising a new condo development. This put in perspective the whole "Tide-to-go-Joe" phenomenon and Ryan's enthusiasm about acting in his own TV commercial for Song airlines. It leads me to wonder if Ryan Danz is yet another in a long line of planted pretty faces masquerading as real people on reality shows.
Somehow I ended up on the Ryan Danz e-mail list, and was treated to the following last week:
Hello All! Its been awhile since I have spoken with most of you, but I wanted to let you know what I have been doing lately. Check out the tidetogo.com website (link below)! Just goes to show you what donning a bright orange, skin tight spandex costume on national TV will get you. Also, If you want more Tide to Go Joe, (like on a commercial) please copy and paste the below link, email Tide to go.com and tell them "More Joe"!!!
So basically, Ryan wants to be in a real Tide commercial. He really wants it, and he feels that Martha taught him the skills he needs to do it. Or maybe he's clinging desperately onto his last tiny bit of reality show notoriety (I'll bet he wishes he had been on Donald's more popular Apprentice instead). Maybe there are more condo ads in his future as well. The sky really is the limit. Plus there is always "business," in which he claims to be "extremely interested."
To learn more about this fascinating character, don't forget to go to his website where you can buy autographed Ryan Danz headshots! I would maybe buy one if they were full-body, naked headshots (with an erection). There's an idea, Ryan... Playgirl. Just do it, if you want people to still remember you at all. Otherwise, maybe you should use your law degree for something other than tacky, ill-fated self-promotion.
[posted by Frank]
